21 Lessons I Learned at 21: Reflections on Growth and Self-Discovery

November 10, 2024 (2mo ago)

Turning 21 feels like a milestone, a bridge between young adulthood and a lifetime of experiences yet to unfold. I’ve always loved building software, crafting solutions that make an impact, and helping people in meaningful ways. But this journey isn’t just about developing projects and products; it’s about the lessons life has woven into these experiences. As I reflect on these 21 years, I want to share some insights that have shaped my perspective. Here are 21 lessons I’ve learned, each one a stepping stone toward a deeper understanding of myself and the world around me.

21 Lessons at 21 years

1. Be Unapologetically Yourself

It takes courage to live authentically, but embracing who you are, without apologies, is transformative. Don’t be afraid to stand out and express your true self.

2. Capture Memories

Take photos – lots of them. These little snapshots of time are invaluable as reminders of where you've been and who you've become along the way.

3. Live Like It's a Single-Player Game

It’s your life. Treat it as a single-player game where you set the rules and choose the journey. Don’t let the opinions of others steer you off course.

4. Just Start, Even If You Don’t Know How

The first step is often the hardest, but it’s also the most crucial. Whether it’s a dream, a project, or a goal, start without knowing every step, and trust that you’ll figure it out as you go.

5. Value Progress Over Perfection

In games, a balanced town is better than a rushed one. Similarly, in life, slow, steady progress is often more rewarding than a race to the finish.

6. Invest in Yourself

To truly make a difference, commit to self-improvement. Strive to be so good that others are inspired by the example you set.

7. Stay Connected to Your Roots

Your past, your heritage, and your values are anchors. Remember where you came from, and let that connection keep you grounded.

8. Just Be Yourself

You don’t have to try to be yourself – you already are. Stop overthinking, and let authenticity flow naturally.

9. Every Rejection is a Redirection

Rejection isn’t failure; it’s life nudging you in a new direction. Embrace these moments as opportunities for growth.

10. Show Kindness to Your Parents

Remember, they’re experiencing life’s trials and triumphs for the first time, just like you. Their journey is as new and uncertain as yours.

11. Embrace Failure

Failure is a fantastic teacher. If you’ve never failed, you’ve never truly pushed yourself. Learn from mistakes, and wear them as badges of growth.

12. Embrace Healthy Confrontation

Confrontation isn’t always negative. When approached with empathy, it can be a catalyst for deeper understanding and stronger relationships.

13. Set Your Boundaries

Boundaries are crucial for mental and emotional health. If you don’t define your limits, others will, and they may not align with what’s best for you.

14. Live in Reality, Not Fantasy

Creating stories in your head can be fun, but it can also become a crutch. Stay grounded in the present and build a reality that’s as fulfilling as any fantasy.

15. Practice Gratitude

If you didn’t appreciate something until it was gone, it’s a reminder to be grateful for what you have right now. Gratitude enhances life’s richness.

16. Love Yourself

You’re your own lifelong companion. Take time to appreciate who you are, flaws and all, because self-love is the foundation of all happiness.

17. Embrace Life’s Ephemeral Nature

We are born twice: first, physically, and then when we realize the finite nature of our lives. Recognize this and make every moment count.

18. Comfort is Good, Complacency is Dangerous

It’s okay to seek comfort, but don’t let it lull you into complacency. Nurture your relationships and passions, or risk losing them.

19. People Come and Go

Even those you think will always be there may drift away. Embrace the fluidity of life and cherish each connection while it lasts.

20. Express Your Love

Tell the people in your life how much they mean to you. Don’t wait – life is too short to leave these words unsaid.

21. Friendships, Like Snowflakes, are Fragile

Friendships are delicate, and, just like snowflakes, they can fade away with the smallest disturbance. Treat them with care and respect.


These 21 lessons may be simple, but they hold profound truths that shape the way we experience life. Each lesson is a reminder that our journey isn’t just about the achievements or milestones but the connections, insights, and growth along the way. At 21, I’m just getting started, but I’m grateful for every lesson that’s come my way – and I look forward to many more.

Whether you're starting your journey, at a milestone, or looking to reignite your passion, I hope these reflections resonate with you. Here's to living authentically, loving deeply, and building a life that makes a positive impact.

#life-lessons#self-discovery